The absolute number one problem, in my opinion and experience, is communication. I'll give you a quick run-down of my living situation. I, obviously, have ASD. My boyfriend, whom I will call Hugh, does not. We've been together for about 2 and 1/2 years. We are lucky enough for him to be able to stay home with our son so we don't have to send him to daycare while I work full time. We have had many, many issues, which I won't get into right now, but perhaps one day, I will write more on those topics.
Tonight, I want to write about the last argument that we've had. It is particularly frustrating to me. You see, I was married previously for 8 years. I have been away from my ex for almost 5 years now. I learned what the relationship rules were then. I followed them as well as I could. In subsequent relationships, I've played by basically the same set of rules. This relationship with Hugh is mind boggling because he is playing by a whole set of different rules...ones that I don't know and don't know how to learn them.
Next week, I will be out of town all week for a work trip. I am very stressed out about this for many reasons. One, I'm out of my comfort zone/routine. Two, I have to ride in a rental van with a work colleague driving. When we've gone before, it was very frightening riding with these people. We can't take our own cars. Three, I have so much to do before I leave. Last one, I promise: I have a bunch of tasks to do on this work trip and I have no idea how to do them and it's a very scary thing to go into this huge project and have no clue what you are supposed to do. This isn't everything, but hopefully you get the picture.
So, this is my last week to get stuff done before leaving. Every day, I have different things that I need to do to make sure I'm ready. I have to kind of over plan b/c of my forgetfulness. Yesterday, my plan was to go to Walmart after work at 4:30 and grab a few things really quickly for the trip and anything else that Hugh may need for him and the baby while I was out of town. I wasn't planning on going for long, just long enough to run through and get the essentials. The problem though: yesterday was Hugh's birthday.
As I am in my dark room, sitting on the bed, writing this, Hugh comes in to ask me if I want to watch a netflix movie we have. He is using his regular voice, not the mad voice. We've been arguing about this for 2 straight days, but all of a sudden, it's like nothing ever happened. I am starting to wonder...am I truly the one that is not typical?